- A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days.

NONE. Lol. When I'm happy, happy songs make me happier so that doesnt count and when I'm upset, I tend to listen to sad songs that I can relate to which would make me feel WORSE. Lol. SO YEAH.

XXXXXXXX


So lets see, WORLD STAGE IS TODAY! :)

I'm not sure why but I'm not so excited as I was before. But maybe later when I meet up with Lydia, then her excited-ness will make me excited and THERE I GO AGAIN with the being excited and yes, I'll shut up about excited now :)

So nyway, I asked my godfather to try and check if he could get some x-zone passes for me for world stage and he did. He got 4! But when he passed it to me last night, it turned out to be VIP passes which is better than x-zone. I got scared. Lol. Cause all my friends are at the x-zone. BUT NO WORRIES :) I switched the tickets with some guy at school who wanted to go for the better tickets :) SO YAY.

But ....... I'm missing my sister's 21st birthday :( Well, knowing my family, their probably gonna be drinking till the morning so I probably wont miss out so much even if I come back at midnight but I still wanna be there! It's gonna be fun fun and I'm not gonna be here. Oh well, can't be at two places at once can I? I just hope there's food for me when I get home. I can tell that i'm gonna be VERRRRYYY HUNNGRRRYYY :O hehe.

-something you never get compliments on

My height. OBVIOUSLY! Cause i'm short! haha. Oh and I NEVER get compliments on how I'm like such a pro-filipino who sweeps and mops and cleans the house DAMN NICE NICE. Yeah :D

xxxxx

I was like super super super sad when I found out Zaheir got kicked out of school. I'm not exactly close to him outside class but in class, he and maan are the only 2 guys that I can actually talk to. Their damn fun and I can't imagine class without Zaheir. It definately wont be the same. But with the highest hopes ever, I AM SOOOO hoping that they'll give him a second chance.

ANYWAY, school today - BORING! I was kinda pissed at this one particular tedegecherdeger cause she has no life and is such a paranoid and insecured soul. All I can say is, she needs to CHIIILLLLLLL :)

BESIDES THAT, I went for sushi buffet dinner at OU with my cousins and aunties and uncles. DAMN NICE! I ate like literally a whole horse+cow. AND CAN EAT SOME MORE!

- something people seem to compliment you the most on


My hair when it's let down. Actually, most just gets excited on how long and thick it is. Besides that, my eyelashes and at times, eyes.

xxxxxxxxx

It was a lazy day today. But it got pumped up when I went for accounts tuition just now. It was good. I'm somehow addicted to that cloud 9 sweet that taste like teh o ais limau. Lol. It taste YUMMAAY. But anyway, when I got home, I had dinner and lied down and did absolutely nothing. See what I'm tryna say by LAZY DAY? :)

ANYWAY, I got a call from a friend just about an hour ago. She told me that my friend Mirul's dad has passed away. I was so shocked. Just yesterday I was talking to him about his dad's condition. I thought that everything was gonna be okay.

To Mirul & Family - I am so sorry to hear about your dad. Be strong! Were all here for you.

-someone you need to let go, or wish you didn't know.

Tought one, but i'd say Ayoi.

XXXXXXXX

So Hi :) It's tuesday morning. Actually noon. But yeah, I'm supposed to be in school but hey, I'm home. Pengetua's last day is today so blablabla. Anyway, yesterday was a pretty random day. I went to school as usual, and in the mid of assembley, this random German girl walks pass and catches everyones attention. She looks very white. And not just GIULI white, this is like.. movie white. haha. So obviously, new girl in school + she being white = everyones new favourite toy. So basically, she was the topic of the day. She's in the class next to mine and Nat and Jasmeet seems to be making her feel quite comfortable around school :) Good for her I guess, must be tough coming in from a diff country into a GOVERNMENT school. I hope she enjoys her time here. RANDOM thing about her today : Two boys got into trouble with some teacher cause they got caught skipping class just to see the new girl. HAHA.

So anyway, english was last period and teacher made us do our essay in class. She said that if we hadn't passed up our books, we were not allowed to leave even if the bell rang. Who knew she was serious? But yeah, luckily I was done by the time the bell rang but unfortunately, the rest of the class wasn't. And she insisted on EVERYONE leaving together which kinda sucked cause had to catch a ride from someone to Cassie's house and most of the people in class weren't even half way done. After about 10 minutes of bugging teacher to let me go, she finally did BUT I missed my ride anyway. So I walked -.- But it's okay. Bumped into Nabiha,Ieka and Putri and we walked together. So let me just shorten everything that happened after that yeah, BLABLABLA McD - saw Manda and Milan - went to buy aunty annes with Nanai - went to bath at cassie's - went to see where the rest was - saw the rest - iylia drunk - limau ais (hahaha) - accounts tuition - home. All, in all, pretty random day.

Came back home feeling as exhausted as ever. Mum and D wasn't home so I had to put dinner together myself :( But yeah, I did and mummy came home and was just lying down in front of the tv with mum and manda and my night ended pretty weird. But doesn't matter, I took Cik Farhana's advice and I IGNORED. So I feel pretty good today and I need to wash my hair so bye :D

I noticed that I've recently been saying WHAT's UP a lot. Heh. Sooooooo.. whats up? ;)

-someone you didn't wanna let go , but just drifted.

Hmm. Well, to start of with family, I'd say Ellyna,Steph,Jennifer,Debbie and Diana. When we were younger, Ellyna and I used to go to Penang every other weekend with the rest of our family and we spent most of our weekends together. And during christmas holidays, she'd stay at my house for a whole month straight! It was so much fun. But I guess as we got older, our schedules got tighter and we couldn't really get together much. As for Steph, she used to stay here when she was in UM. She's so so much fun and I could just talk to her about almost anything! She's a lot older than me but I'm still pretty close to her. And about Jennier,Debbie and Diana, they used to stay here too! And then when they got jobs and houses of their own, they moved out. Was so much fun having them around. But now two out of three of them are married and one has two little babies already! Now, we ALL only get to see each other during family gatherings and stuff. But it's all good :)

As for friends, I'd say Shannon,Nat,Jasmeet. I wouldn't really put Giuli in this list cause even though we hardly hang out nowadays, were still pretty close and I still talk to fer a lot. But not so much Shannon,Nat and Jasmeet. I remember form1 when we were all still so so close. I guess as the years went by, our different classes and their prefect duties and our new friends came between us. Not exactly lah. I mean it's good when I get the chance to sit and catch up with them but yeah :)

Sometimes, I wish that I could just lock all these people up in a small box and take em' out whenever I feel like having em' around :P

-someone who made your life hell or treated you like shit.

Well, no one actually. Lol. I can't think of anyone who has made my life HELL or treated me like SHIT in fact. People are usually quite nice to me :) Thankgod. Well, that's IN FRONT my face lahh.. But oh well.

xxx

So yeah, Hi :) Today I went dinner with my cousin jose, aunty and uncle at madam kwans. After that, we headed to BV to go to the grocery store for while. Then my cousin asked me to follow him ALL THE WAY to the chicken corner just to pinch the raw chickens thighs. But I gotta admit, it was fun =p

-someone who has made your life worth living for

There's not actually a specific person but instead, there are quite a few people. And the list would go about something like this......

my parents,manda and the rest of my family.
-I don't know how to say this right but to make it simple and sweet (lol), their irreplaceable. I don't understand some families where their not close to each other or to their cousins and those who prefer to spend more time with their friends instead of family and stuff because honestly, I can't imagine my life without them.

my friends.
- Best friends,close friends or even JUST friends, one day without em' wouldn't be AS complete.

Aunty Liz.
- She's not even blood related. Just a family friend, but yet she's done SO MUCH for me since I was a little baby right up till today. I definately have to include her in this.

- something you hope you never have to do

There are probably loads but to pick one out of a million, I'd say, I hope that I would never have to go through a single hard time in life by myself.

Okayokay, A bit excited now but I CAN FINALLY RIDE A BICYCLE! I went to Cassie's house earlier today and she thought me :) And this time I didn't give up. haha. IN FACT, we were riding it for a bout two hours. =p I even lost balance and fell down the side pavement and there's a tiny scratch on my leg which i overreacted about BUT STILL. I'm so so so extremely happy that I can finally ride a freakin bike.

RANDOM FACT OF THE DAY - If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would produce enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

Anyway, to summarize the weekend, Saturday started off pretty good as I woke up early in the morning to go to MGS for their IU day. Saw few friends perform and yada yada and headed back. After that, heard that I could get MTV world stage tickets from sunway so I dragged my sister to take me there for like 5 minutes so I could run in and get it =p Met up with Lyds,Cas,Nas and Fana for a quick hi and bye before I had to leave cause I had a wedding to run to. So yeah, I got home and fell asleep for a while and when I woke up, my toes were painted. REALLY RANDOM. I'm shocked I didn't notice Manda was painting my nails. But yeah anyway, I threw on a last minute dress and headed to Concord Hotel for the dinner reception. Went there and it was pretty funfun :) Met up with my cousins that I havent seen in a while and honestly, I couldnt be bothered to say anything else cause I'm damn lazy so I'll upload few pictures.......................LATER ;)

OMG YOU KNOW WHAT. I'll continue this WHOLE thing later cause my internet not cooperating! blleehhh..
Don't sneeze too hard while I'm gone or you'll just end up fracturing a rib

- Something you hope to do in your life

I hope to at least make sure I am able to eventually do the little most simplest things that I never got to do/learn in life like for instance, ride a bike. Yes, it may be simple and easy to learn and something that MOST people SHOULD know how to do as they grow up but unfortunately, I'm one of the odd ones out. I'm one of those who did not get the chance to learn how to ride a bike because I had a phobia of falling down the hill where I stayed and I guess by the time I grew up, I just lost the interest. I also hope that I'd be able to go to the Bahamas one day and also Rome. Those two are probably the two places that I'm dying to go to.But I feel lucky enough that I've been to the places that my parents, aunties and uncle has taken me to so i'm not complaining but it would be nice to travel more. Last of all, I hope that I can SOMEHOW in SOMEWAY help do charity. Maybe when I'm older, I wanna organize a charity event and help the ones in need :) Yay. I feel very Oprah haha.

Hit of the night ;
*manda opens the fridge door and dances extremely retardly in front of it*
Me : Please stop.
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SOOOOOO.. issssss fridayyy!! Which means tomorrow is SATURDAY! Which ALSO means tomorrow is no school day! Which also means I can NOT snooze my alarm a gazillion times before waking up late anyway!

So lets see, after school just now Rae,Asla,Claudia and myself went to mcD for the quickest lunch ever cause tuition was at 1.30 and school ended at 12.30. So While having lunch + doing last minute homework + trying hard to study for assessment + making fun of everyone around us, we lost track of time and when we saw that we were SUPAH late, we rushed out! Ran across the road and almost got killed by inconsiderate cars who don't care that I am late for tuition. AND FINALLY we reached tuition JUST to find out that my tuition bag was not with me. I panic'd! obviously! Until I noticed that all my friends books were dumped in there as well then I calmed down a bit ;P But then my teacher got her son to rush us back there and I ran up the stairs and went to the place where I was sitting and my bag WAS NOT there! And when I turned around, I saw manda and screamed *I LOST MY TUITION BAG*. Only After I said that to her,I stopped to think like.. what the hell was manda doing there. And then blablabblalababab found it and blablablbablablablablablblbalbabala... Bye :)

-something you have to forgive someone for

Well, I think of myself as a reasonably forgiving person. I probably would say *it's okay* to every random person who says sorry to me whether I really mean it or not. And I think I already HAVE forgiven many. I guess I just don't like the awkwardness between two people when something's not right. So yeah, that's pretty much it.

Have you ever wanted something so bad, you can't sleep at night?
______________________________________________________________________

Went for bm tuition today and it was pretty good. I could actually pay attention cause I wasn't talking and I switched classes from wednesday to thursday. All my friends are in the wednesday class which is actually the main reason why I switched. I mean, If I didn't, I'd just be paying Pn.Mahsuri rm100 to talk. Wise move, geldin, wise move :)

Anyway, came back home and had dinner with Manda. After dinner , had a small conversation with her which sorta went something like this

Me : Manda, I'll give you 50 bucks if you wash my plate.
Manda : Are you THAT lazy?
Me : yes.
Manda : I'll wash your plate if you clear the table.
Me : I'll give you 50 bucks if you wash the plate AND clear the table.
Manda : Give me the money first.

-.- Dooooossshh..

- something you have to forgive yourself for.

Hmm, this isn't something you think about everyday eh? And honestly, I can't really think of anything that I have to forgive myself for. So, i'm skipping this one ;)

..............................................................................xx............................................................................................

I just realized that I've made quite a number of new friends in the past couple of weeks. How fun :)
ANYWAY, School has been ALRIGHT. Though my add math teacher marked a cross on maan,zaheir,asla and my forehead just now cause we were talking a lot =p But never mind. It was a purple marker and it matched my braces. Haha. We sorta DID deserve it :D Ya so blablbalaablablbaalalabablababablalabablabala mum wanna use , bye :)

-something you love about yourself.


I love that I'm not easily influenced. Especially at the age that I am in where we'd like to try out everything we can get our hands on. I love that I can be in the same place hanging with my friends and watch them all have alcohol while I have a plain old coke. I also love that I'm sociable. I like it that I'm not awkward around new people, instead, I talk to them like I've known them for 20 years. That way, it makes others feel comfortable around me as well :)

So I came across this on Shan's blog and I've decided to try it out as well :)


Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself
____________________________________________________________________

DAY 1 - something you hate about yourself.

Well, there's not only one, but several things that I hate about myself. And to start of, I hate that I'm lazy and aware of it yet not willing to change, or rather too LAZY to change for the better. Second , I hate that I give in easily and am not strong enough to state my real opinion because I am too scared to face the consequences of reality. I also hate that I'm weak which gives people the opportunity to bully me emotionaly. Oh yeah, and I hate that I'm balding. Boo me.

Anyone hungry? I am.

So hey :) Pretty quiet day today but it was good. Monday's always a good day at school. All the subjects that I don't mind which kept my mood up and straight :) Had random spazz moments with Zahier and Raeda and also got CAUGHT having random spazz moments with them by the opposite class. Haha. yeah, really embarrassing. BUT OH WELLS.

So I got home at bout 5 something today and I asked my mum if I could go to pavilion with my aunties and she said NO. -.- ALL BECAUSE I didn't wash my bathroom when she told me to yesterday. Ah, big deal, I got back late from cheer comp and on top of having a sore throat, I was super tired and I could have done it today without complains but no. So fine, I washed my bathroom yesterday but obviously it wasn't good enough because I didn't scrub here la there la here la..So fine. And I guess anger is really a motivation because I cleared everything in my room, sweeped and moped the floor AND re-did the bathroom in less than an hour and by the time she came back, she said that I could go but forget it, I was too tired. What a waste.

And Oh yeah, I just noticed my father isn't back. So I guess he went outstation or something. Apparently he'll be back tomorrow night. But I'm not sure. He doesn't really tell me much about his whereabouts. All I know is that he took my internet broadband and I'm here borrowing my godmothers one. But I've gotta return it soon :( Damn.

Just got out from a nice shower and I went back in to smell the bathroom cause I just love the way it smells after I shower =p haha. SMELLS LIKE SHAMPOOOOOOOO. Okay bye.

I have a perfect explanation for crap mood yesterday. Go ahead and guess :) Come on, I'll give you a clue ; it's red , it comes once a month and it's HELL inconvenient. If you guessed PERIOD, then JENG JENG JENG, corrreecctt!

So today, I woke up at around 11 and had yummy pan mee for brunch. Was good :) So while I was sitting at the table with Manda and eating, we saw an advertisement on tv about this Filipino drama movie thing la and we got sooooo excited cause we used to follow all the drama's like RELIGIOUSLY back when they had them. But unfortunately, this one , we gotta pay extra 10 bucks for which I don't think is a problem cause it's just 10 bucks la right? So I asked my father who was in front of the tv if we could subscribe and get it. And it sorta went like this .....

Me : D, can we subscribe for the Filipino drama?
D : What nonsense drama all. No no.
Me : But why? I'll pay for it myself.
D : No.
Me : WHY?! I really wanna watch it!
D : Don't be stubborn can or not? No , no la.
Me : BUT WHY?!?! I need a valid reason.
D : You don't need a reason.
Me : WHY!?
D : I'll throw away the tv.
Me : *..........*

Unnecessary much? I know.

So i called my mum and asked her instead knowing that she likes to watch all these stuff as well and she said can! HAH! YAY :)

Anyway, all is good all is good

Behind every great woman, is a guy looking at her ass.
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Though last night ended quite shit, this morning was pleasant. I spent the day just mostly talking with my friends and it distracted me. Made me feel heaps better. Later on at tuition, was another great few hours. Today, no one got scolding. Instead, from what I saw, everyone enjoyed class a lot better today. After tuition, it was time to head to the gym with Claudia. Spent quite a while there till my bones are sore and had the bestest shower! Now I'm home and despite having quite a good day, I'm still pissed.

Well, have you ever had that feeling where everything is just coming at you at once and all you wanna do is just sit and not think for a while. Have you ever felt like even the biggest wave of a scary roller coaster ride couldn't distract you cause your too busy thinking about how messed up some things are or how the people you trusted the most were the people who let you down. Have you ever felt like you were so done with everything yet not ready to walk forward.

or is it just me?

I guess everyday I learn something new one way or another and today, I learnt not to trust just anyone. In fact, I'm so against it now, I feel insecured.
I hardly even trust my friends. Not even a single teacher could gain my trust anymore. I guess words spread fast and like my word did, yours did too.

I'm grateful that my day was almost just perfect and i'm also grateful that i smell something good to eat up stairs. BYE :)

The irony of someone dying in the living room.
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So it's 9.02 a.m and as it is quite obvious, I IS NOT IN SCHOOL :D Am still sick though, but feeling better. Must be because mummy made me swallow a gazillion pills (just one :P) last night as if I was some crucial case of cancer or something. PFTS.

And and and I cannot wait for later today. Going to watch ecplise with Stephieee,Debbie,Jennifer and Manda. Yayyy. Been so long since I went out with them. Cousins day out FINALLY!

okies, i issss getting very anal headache as i am typing this shiz. So buhbye.

So happy I got to use my pink pink pink umbrella that I've been dying to use for so long! Yay :) I got into the car very dry and happy IN PINK. Wee :)

Buttt then, I'm down with a horrible soar throat and flu. No fever though, thank god. If not, I'd be PISSED. But yeah, still not going to school tomorrow.

Oh and I'm very jealous. Manda is at ushhherrrr right now. I dont know if this jealousy is coming from just being stupid and jealous or maybe my head is just not straight cause of my flu marathon my nose is running at ze' moment. BUT EITHER WAYS. DAMN IT.

I wanted so badly to go for the usher concert. SO BADLY. Since the first day I heard about it. Finally got the tickets, and everything got screwed up in the end. I hate this.

After a long time of trying to sell our house, someone finally bought it.

I don't wanna move :( Yeah, I know that this house isn't very practical for a family of 4 seeing how we have 8 rooms and only 4's being PROPERLY used. But still! I love this house. I grew up here. It's near everything and I can't imagine living else where. AND WE JUST REPAINTED THE HOUSE! What a freakin waste! I finally learned how to sleep with lights off and doors closed (hehe) and now we gotta go :( I'm so used to staying here. It's MY house. I dont wanna go.

So no one showed up to take my report card today. Why am I not surprised? Cause it often happens. I didn't do too well but I don't know why I was hoping that at least my mum would come. But she got caught up with work. Very disappointing. Well, that ruined my morning.

people are people and sometimes we change our minds
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Your presence remain a scarcity to me. Like a dream, you remain a fantasy still. I know not my purpose but merely what I feel. But what If I'm still gonna be defeated one way or another? Would it be worth saying it all? Or would silence construct a better escape? Cause in life, a blissful conclussion is only but a possibility.



Stephanie Anne , I miss you! Take me out!

HI :) Remember the add math corrections I had to do? Well, today I went to school very excitedly thinking how I have nothing to worry about since i've completed everything but the minute I entered my class, someone told me teacher extended the time. #*%&#$*@()*@!!! I was so frustrated! My fingers have freaking abs and muscles from the amount I wrote yesterday and WE DONT HAVE TO PASS IT UP. Sigh :( But then, on the bright side, when teacher came in, she told us that the people who DID finish it today gets extra marks in our next exam. How superd is that? =) So i guess it wasn't SUCH a waste of time.

Asides from that, our school had this crazy foos baazare just now during recess. I like it when the school does stuff like that. Well, recess time was extended and I spent 10 bucks on food today. Gosh.

Anyway, tomorrow is report card day and at first i was kinda happy my mum would be able to make it but then she told my sister to get it instead :( Guess she's gotta write a letter lah like that. Oh well, nothing much I can say about that.